eHarmony gave me mainly people in their late 40s up to and including people in their 50s when I specifically gave them an age cutoff of 45 saying that age was very important to me. It seems that they match you how THEY want to, not how you want them to. We each have criteria. We shouldn’t have to change it just because a dating site says dictates who we are compatible with. We are paying them, after all. They say that they can find us someone? Then how come I know a number of people who tried eHarmony for three months and canceled their membership with no success, just a number of “one-daters” or people who never wrote back after being written to, which could happen on any site, paid or not.

OKCupid’s quiver matches seem like a waste to me. I think when people get their quiver matches they hit “not interested” for all of them just for the fun of it. It doesn’t even seem as if they read the profiles. I have never had anyone write to me, being a quiver match of theirs. A lot of people on OKC want people from around the block I think, too. So many people wrote to me after I had expressed interest and said that there was too much of a distance. Shouldn’t they have specified 5-10 miles and no more initially? I know they could have.

I have an easier time using Plenty of Fish. I’m not saying that the quality of people whom one finds on there are any better or worse than anywhere else, but you do get more e-mails and more interest-whether or not it leads anywhere is another question. If a person is really interested in finding someone they will spend some time writing a profile-how you perceive the profile is up to you. There are a lot of people out there who have been hurt, and who will say so in their profile. Don’t reject these people as being negative-this is the last thing they need. They want to be loved. They are lonely like the rest of us-face it, that’s why we are using a dating site in the first place.

I had a “one-dater” on POF. I talked on the phone to someone from OKC who neglected to list many things about his life in his profile, and talking to him really showed me this.

I also met someone on POF who I thought I would be with forever. It was a dream meeting. I only talked to him on the phone for a few minutes before we decided to meet later that day.

If this guy came to his senses, I would have a fantastic story to tell about POF.

Right now I just have a story of a broken heart and I am out of glue.

Most women don’t care that men want to be selective. I know I am. Especially after what I experienced in my marriage. I want a man who DESIRES me. I want a man who KNOWS he wants to be with me. If that means he has to go “experiement” with the young girls, have at it.

I did! I have had my mailbox filled with the twenty somethings, too. And I dated several. It is AMAZING how very mature some of the young guys are these days. They are tired of the immaturity of girls their own age. They truly just wanted to experience what it felt like to be in a mature relationship. Conversation….no needy, “you have to be at my side 24/7″ female. I wouldn’t trade a single relationship. One of them actually made six figures. A VERY motivated, successful young man.

As for sex…..guys I say this: There isn’t a twenty-something out there who can hold a candle to a man in his 50′s who wants to please a woman. Hands down, nothing better. I’ve experienced it all. And I will always come “home” to the mature, loving, sensitive, depth of a 50 something MAN. I want to grow old with my man….but I am not dead yet! I want the fire and passion more now than I ever did in my 20s or 30s. I am finding that most men in my age range feel the same way.

Old guys rule!!! And, more times than not, so do old gals!!!

Anyway, I’ve respectfully learned a lot from this blog and can validate from an observers perspective that there are a lot of FAKE people on both, the preferences don’t work, etc. Her validation is to have any correspondent who wants to talk with her to send an immediate phone pic (everybody has a smart phone) with the person doing something or posing specific to what she says. if they can’t or won’t then they are IMMEDIATELY dismissed and blocked

Paid sites do better people take a sensible, responsible and mature attitude.

In each of these means of meeting, there is no verification of members’ identities, and so any member can be (and often is) misrepresented. Photos are routinely years old, sometimes by decades. Many of these “singles” appear to be social workers with a professional interest in corresponding with online singles, and they don’t appear to be looking for real dates at all. Any game or con that can be played or pulled on members is.

These sites can be a lot of fun, provided you keep in mind that almost nothing – and no one – on these sites is what they appear to be. And real life dates with quality individuals can be a very rare occurrence.